Pg.24 of 366

I struggled today. I definitely did not want to get up this morning but I did. I thought I got myself a tiny bit caught up but no all a snow day did was make it worse. I struggled hard today. 
I started questioning myself and just things. Can I really do this job. Yes I can but I realized today I have to let go of some of the controyi am trying to have I think. I do not know how to do this. 
I sent the application in and an unnecessarily long email explaining some weirdness in the application. I just didn't want to be dismissed for reasons not justifiable. But I also questioned if the house was for me, if I could maintain the outside, especially in winter. 
I left work at 3:30 cause ... They all pushed to leave so I left. I went to get T and I said you can be a few min late I wanna show the house and started to mumble my concerns and then I passed it and we turned around and no it's mine. 
its just so perfect when I see it. I will figure out maintaining my yard.. MY yard. I saw it and said exactly that... That it was mine and I will figure it out. 
I'm tired today and I want to smoke more but I also did not drink water, man I just can't like get it down. It's so dang hard but my body is not liking it and I need to figure that out man!!
It took some outside help but I adjusted my attitude, especially seeing the little house. It's perfect and dang it.. it's mine. 
The first image was my draw this afternoon. I knew I was in a funk and my stepdad gave me this beautiful Angels and Auras Oracle deck and I just want to use it. I go between numbers and 13 and 28 are my go to cards... If 2 & 8 because those are the Cap numbers and I was born 28th so yeah.. anyway. I hadn't decided and when it came to 13 the 14th stuck to it and I felt I wasn't supposed chose that card. 28th it was. And .. I needed that card. The signs. I've been paying attention the moment certain things fell into place. The Universe shows us when our path is right, is headed in the right direction. That house was not dropped in my lap for no reason. It was dropped there for me. And I saw it and acted. It's mine and like my job I'll accept nothing less, it's perfect. 
I'm ready to keep my growth going and healing as well but it's time to step into my level up... It's time. 

~ T ~

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