Here we are in August and I gave up on my blogs. Both of them have gone no where since June but maybe I can at least get this one updated in Month increments.. using mostly pics and not as much writing and MAYBE I can try to get them back up and going more regularly. I need to becauyi refuse to go backwards despite the fact that I am.. especially weight wise.
I chose that image because my struggle is real right now and since I quit.. struggling hard.
June I did still do some baking and cooking, trying to keep myself up and Do it day was June 7 and I was still optimistic that SOMEONE would give me a job. I also needed to use up berries I had because I hate wasting them.
it was a definite experience and I absolutely support making more another time and when I can get rid of them because I need the not eat them lol.
i also finally made pineapple oatmeal and it was fucking delicious!
i felt good and pretty on the June 12th, I'd already started NOT seeing people and hiding in my house. I was broke and officially very worried about things. I had July covered for rent but everything else was questionable..
June 15th I also had berries to use up. I love berries but they are just not a good hold up, they turn quick even in my Fridgesmart and I think it's because they're already turning at the store, they are such a delicate fruit.
either way I made a delicious mixed berry crisp and again I can't make things like this because I will in fact eat it all and quickly.
Topped with Butterfinger ice cream was amazing! It was like a real tasty PB & J!! Sooo good and this it was gone so damn quick.
Sat June 15th.. I had a day of Grad parties and I remember being highly anxious. Couldn't figure out what to wear and I thought I liked what I chose but every time I look back I definitely regret wearing it but the pic above absolutely was my feelings on the day.
it was my hair and lack of actually putting myself together.
Jayden's Grad party was first and it was what it was. I think I'm becoming indifferent to the household and it's because of Frank and honestly the hypocrisy of Oden and the cuntness of Amy. I deal with it for Alicia and Bean for sure.
After that was Jason & Ashley for her daughter's. I walked in and saw Jason and went straight that way. I didn't look down so I about took out my ankle and fell. Some guy grabbed my arm kept his plate and kept me from falling. I was mortified.
I went to an interview for Sam's Club about cake decorating on the 17th. Alicia spoke up when I was helping shop for parties. I was hired and had inventory on the 19th. When I pulled into my driveway TJMaxx called and offered me the front end supervisor position, only it's only 30 hrs so I will have to do both. They also can only pay my $15.50 and Sam's paid my $16 so to me they win. TJ won't start until July 10th because I have vacation home in CA July 1-9th.
I simply like him and we needed a picture so here it is.
I was just relieved I might have an income coming in. I also looked into my retirement at Penn and was able to pull the $900 out right before I went to CA so I could pay my bills.
I swing by Alicia's on the 23rd and Bean was my buddy! I got hugs and selfies!
man do I detest her mother but oh how I love her. I was there when the boys were born .. I was there when Bean was born.
her Cheese face is the damn cutest!
i kinda needed the loves and so grateful that my visit went as it did!
I also decided to go home and at least hang my bathroom stuff. The house has just stopped. I'm don't with it so I'm not doing anymore to it but I'm also hung up on something Marci said "Just because you aren't staying doesn't mean you don't deserve an enjoyable space" so I'm in limbo.
Anyway...
I really do want my shower curtain but I don't want to waste it you know but we'll see. It's getting 6-8mnths use 😂
I love these though... So me and perfectly bathroom. I have amazing friends.
i was relieved that I was going to be working so I kept that dopamine kick. Id really been struggling and honestly still am which is why this post is still not done and it's September.
I wasn't fully broke yet and was determined to still eat good, honestly I was stubborn and ignoring it. Trying to be that person who's not supposed to worry. Monday the 24th I made a delicious Sammy! I bought great French rolls on markdown and made myself tasty food.
That bread made the best garlic bread!
It was unnecessarily big and delicious! I'll absolutely make it again when I can go grocery shopping lol.
Thursday the 27th.. this car humored me greatly and me neither dude.. me neither. I was in my way to meet Lindsey, she invited me to dinner at Kpot.
we had Korean BBQ and it was pretty groovy.
but you have to be very patient lol...
But we did enjoy it and will defitbe back eventually to try the Hot Pot side of it!
It was groovy and I had Octopus.
I also drew for the Art Challenge in my Art group.
it was the Tree of Life and I set off ..
im happy with it... It says what I want... I also did the June Drawing Challenge with Marci again, it was Cottage Core. It's ok but not my favorite.
I started Sam's June 28th and I guess I'm doing tired cakes lol.
im not fixing this .. I'm basically done and damn it... I'm not changing that picture.
i worked until the 30th and I spent the next day packing for vacation.
I lived through June. My depression and Anxiety were a fucking mess, still are tbh, but I survived and got two jobs to figure shit out.
~T~
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